Stories we missed

Several years ago, I had this cockamamie idea to publish a weekly listicle of stories displayed on the covers of the weekly tabloids under the headline, “Stories we missed!”

I had this stroke of brilliance as I waited in the grocery store check-out line. It seemed a way to bring some fun to our pages. I knew I’d never do it. The mass newspaper audience isn’t a great fan of snark  And to be honest, I was afraid that some of our readers would think we believed these stories were important.

But to get a taste of what it might look like, here is a sampling of stories we missed as of this morning. These are the top stories on the magazines’ webpages.

National Enquirer: Gweneth posts birthday message for ex Chris Martin

OK Magazine: Loni comes to blows with co-hosts over Jordyn & Tristan — ‘Ya’ll got me hot’

Star: Rhonj star Danielle Staub dumps fiancee after 6 weeks of dating

Life & Style: Colton Underwood announces ‘I’m f-ing done after explosive ‘Bachelor’ episode: see the recap!

Weekly World News : Saturn is a giant UFO! Astronomer’s stunned! (Editor’s note: The Weekly World News brand statement is “The world’s only reliable news.”)

!!!! You have to dig down a few stories in the Enquirer to get to ‘Luke Perry’s darkest life secrets exposed’

The one other problem with my idea: I didn’t know what Rhonj stood for or who Loni is until I looked them up.

Significant note: My thinking is redeemed! Jezebel does it now. ‘Is Meghan Markle a class traitor’

 

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